This week our Q & A is devoted to the burning question, “Do I have to choose my business success and money over finding and keeping true love in my life?”
Q: I’m a 38 year old female business owner from London and have put all of my time into building my business over the past several years. This has made finding love almost impossible. I had a few flings here and there, my last relationship was three years ago and only lasted a couple of months. I value business success and money highly and don’t want to give up what I’ve worked so hard for, but I’m totally ready for love RIGHT NOW! What do I do? Can I actually find a man, or have I missed my chance? Is there a way to have money and love?
Rick’s male perspective:
Let’s see if we can use your commitment to your business as an advantage in helping you find love right now.
So many of the qualities that you’ve used to build your business are completely transferable to a loving, vibrant, truthful relationship.
You are loyal, hard-working, committed and have vision and perseverance to share with your future partner. As a business owner with these gifts you can actually attract exactly what you want in a relationship.
The first step is to acknowledge that you love your life as a business owner just as it is. There’s no need for anything else for you to be complete. If you love yourself right where you are you are ready to proceed.
Step two is to write down exactly what you want in your life including what you want from yourself, your business, and your future partner. Be as clear and honest as possible here because what you write you will invite.
The more truthful and brutally honest you can be in outlining and describing in vivid detail your desired life, the easier it will be to create. Believe me when I tell you it does not have to be hard. In fact it might be the easiest thing you do, certainly much easier than building your business.
Step three is to go out into the world with your clear, honest vision and share it with everyone you meet. Friends, family, love interests all need to know exactly what you desire from your life, no exceptions.
Each one of us makes a choice to create magic in our lives in this area is no different. Whether in our careers, relationships, personal wellness, we are always one decision, one choice away from loving ourselves enough to decide what we want.
In this case you can and should have both financial/business success as well as healthy loving partner. Just make sure it begins with you loving yourself and clearly defining what you want.
Rachel’s female perspective:
Having financial success and having love in your life are not mutually exclusive. You can absolutely have both. If you want a happy relationship that can last for the long term now, you have to fully commit to finding and keeping it–just as you have committed to building your career.
You do not have to give up a huge chunk of your earnings if you can find a way to restructure your business/outsource/etc. so that you can make the time to start dating and developing relationships. If you don’t make time for love, love won’t make time for you! Rest assured, you still have time at age 38. After all, people who are dozens of years older than you find love every day. Modern day technology makes it easier than ever to get yourself out there and start meeting people.
I suggest you take a two or three tiered approach to finding love. Put yourself on online dating sites and mobile apps to quickly and efficient screen your prospects. Also allot some time every week to go search out and about into the world–whether on the singles scene or in classes, a gym, events, etc. where you think you will find eligible bachelors. Lastly, tell everyone you know that you are single and looking for introductions. If you don’t ask for introductions, you probably won’t get them. Oh, and you must know what you are looking for before you can find it. If you aren’t clear on what you want or need from a relationship, see a coach, therapist, or blank journal to figure it all out. Be as aggressive in your search for love as you were in developing your business, and you will find love sooner rather than later.